Dear Fellow Motorist (and specifically in this case) Guy who was driving in front of me tonight on US-41 going north toward Calumet,
If there’s one thing I haven’t gotten used to up here, it’s the insane amount of seemingly oblivious people who think driving drunk isn’t a big deal. Sure, Houghton County is fairly small, and in towns where there’s one stop light (if you’re lucky), you may think it’s totally cool to slam down ten beers at the U.P. Bar or Mickey’s or wherever and then drive home. I know, this isn’t like driving down in Oakland County.
But here’s the deal: it’s still a really bad idea. And when I see you veering all over the damn place and driving on the wrong side of the yellow line, then USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL TO GET BACK ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ROAD, I’m frightened. And I’ll be honest with you. If I hadn’t lost cell service at that point on the drive tonight, I would have been calling your ass in.
Believe it or not, we do have taxi services up here. Two of them. True, they’re not the most prompt services around, but do us a favor and call a cab or a friend next time, okay? And if you weren’t drunk or stoned or whatever tonight, warn me the next time you’re getting on the road. I am afraid. Very afraid.