Saying goodbye

As my sister would say, I miss Grandma Seely.

Funerals are hard. I had been to one earlier this year and thought I was prepared for my grandmother’s.

I wasn’t.

As much as I do not like open casket scenarios, I needed to see her today. I was worried that seeing her in the state she was in would somehow mar the memories I had of her when she was well and alive. But it didn’t. If anything, it reinforced those memories for me and made them so much more valuable.

Work sent a beautiful arrangement to my parents’ home, and it served as a nice centerpiece for the family luncheon. I have never put much stock in flowers in the past, thinking that they were insignificant at an event like a funeral. Wow, was I wrong. The fact that my coworkers were thoughtful enough to send something was really touching, more than I expected. My dad’s employer? Didn’t even send a card.

The whole experience has made me think a lot about death, the afterlife, and how nice I should be to my brother and sisters’ future children, so that when I am old and sick, someone will come visit and take care of me (that is, if I don’t have children of my own). No, I’m not joking. I’m completely serious.

I will probably have more to say on this when I’m not dead tired from a busy weekend with little sleep and my eyes aren’t all red and puffy. Damn these Asian eyes that swell up like balloons when they drop as little as one tear! Damn them!